My recent discovery of my birth family has caused several revelations that I did not expect. I have 4 half siblings that I never knew about, nor they did not know about me. I always wondered if I we met would we have an instant connection. Kelly Marie and I had that immediately the first day we talked on the phone. We have had completely different lives yet we had some common bonds, similar habits and lots of stories to tell. It will likely take us the rest of our lives to “catch up”, if we ever do.
However, my brother Ed and my sister Deena are my life long siblings. We have a deep connection. They have more dirt on me and can push my buttons like no one else. You see, my parents adopted me and Ed because they thought they could not have children. 2 years after I came home, my Mom had surgery and magically my sister was conceived! Still, our parents loved and treated us all the same- fairly. They loved us beyond words. We were not wealthy, but my parents worked hard. We had all any child could want or need. We were a complete and happy family unit. Oh, there was drama, mostly caused by me. My sister, Deena has all the dirt and can bring up things I’ve long forgotten. Deena and I share a love of horses that began when I was 5. She, being 2 years younger, followed me, and fell in love with horses too. It all started when Daddy brought home a pony in the back of a pickup truck for my 5th birthday. We named her Daisy. I would not say I was spoiled, but my Dad loved doing things like that for us, because he could. We enjoyed daisy and he built a little barn for her and my Mom’s horse, Dolly. Dolly was too big for us to ride so eventually we got more horses and started showing them at our local barns. Deena and I would spend summers at the barn from dawn to dusk. All of our friends rode horses. Dawn and Colleen were another pair of sisters who rode together and we are still friends today. My brother, Ed and I also spent time together but he was not an outdoor kind of guy. I give him full credit for my love of music and my “geeky side”. I say that with true affection. I am the middle child. We are all 2 years apart. I always had someone to play with or hang out with. Ed had us playing board games & card games. He collected records and we would play them all the time. Some over and over again. He spent his summers reading books and watching TV and he always had Star Trek or sci fi movies on. He found the most interesting things to watch on TV because he always had the TV guide. None of us ever got to look at it. He carried it around with him constantly. Ed is talented- he has a beautiful singing voice. We used to do duets in the car on family road trips. He engineered skits for us and we did “shows” for our parents. All three of us would perform something silly for them after dinner on the makeshift stage in the basement. Our parents took us camping. We ate dinner together every single night. I can say without any regret, say my childhood was amazing!
So, as all stories go here is the sad part……In 1991, Daddy passed away from lung cancer. I was 22 years old and my Mother was a widow in her mid 40’s. My brother and sister and I we were all over 20 years old, but still very close. Losing our Dad was the single worst experience of our lives. This man raised us and loved us without measure. He adored and treasured his children. We were very close. The loss only strengthened our family bond. The four us leaned in and held on tight. Mom is a rock, an angel and the most amazing person in the world. She taught us so many things. How to grieve, deal with that huge loss, then how to live life. She adopted two children and made them her own. She continues shaping our lives, even to this day. I speak with my Mom on the phone every single day. There’s always something to share or enjoy with her, or advice that I need.
Ed and Deena and my Mom are who I am, and who I have become. They might not share my DNA but I would go to the ends of the earth for them, and they would for me.
I very much look forward to meeting my other half siblings, Ryan, Corey and Doug. I am curious about their summers growing up, and what they learned and who they have become.
Deena, Me, Ed, Mom in 2015 Deena with Daisy, Me with Slippers